Comment Inventory Sheet

Advanced Composition -- An Essay Draft Comment Inventory Sheet
YOUR IDEOLOGY: A Brief Exploration
Dr. J. Halden-Sullivan STUDENT'S NAME _

Please pay attention to the following suggestions as you revise the attached draft:

_ Re-think your choice of AUDIENCE / GENRE.



_ Make your essay's PURPOSE more distinct.



_ Re-consider how fully this piece reveals what you believe / your worldview.



_ Sharpen the FOCUS of your reflections.



_ Deepen your REFLECTION on the meaning of your IDEOLOGY.




_ Re-think how effectively you engage readers in your INTRODUCTION.





_ I want to know more: EXPAND your explanations / examples.






_ Sharpen your defining details, your ANCHORS in experience.



_ Reconsider your TONE. You sound .




_ Re-think / clarify / strengthen your TRANSITIONS.



_ Re-think your organizing principle in this draft .



_ Re-think how effectively you engage readers in your CONCLUSION.


_ Check your sentence pattern variety.


_ Re-think the precision of your WORD CHOICES / PHRASING.



_ Please proofread for and control technical difficulties with:

frag. fs cs agr. commas with coordination/subordination

commas semi-colons colons poss. rep. ww wf pp.


_ When I read this draft, I really like




_ Additional revision tips for you:





_ Grade range of this draft:

[A] [B] [C] [r & r] [other]